Jul 01 2008

Finding a Good Family Law Mediator

The very nasty and public Denise Richards-Charlie Sheen divorce brings home how vindictive and destructive divorces can be in America.  I don’t see people like that in my divorce mediation practice—husbands and wives who serve each other with divorce papers on Christmas Eve. 

 

Granted, my clients may not like each other much and may even exhibit high conflict behavior from time to time.  They seem to know intuitively, however, that going to court with warring lawyers, aggressive cross examination, and expert witnesses isn’t for them. So they turn to an experienced mediator (often before lawyers are involved) to help the real experts (i.e. the divorcing couple) come to agreement on a parenting plan, division of assets, and spousal maintenance.

 

How do divorcing couples know a mediator’s experience? Certifying associations such as the Association for Conflict Resolution (formerly the Academy of Family Law Mediators) can steer spouses in the right direction.  For example, I am a member of the ACR’s Advanced Family Law Mediation Panel, requiring hundreds of hours of family law mediation experience, specialized training, and peer review of mediation documents.

 

Do your own due diligence by asking a prospective mediator if he/she has experience mediating issues important to you and your spouse.  Stock options, closely held businesses, separate property vs. community property—and experienced family law mediator will have seen these issues in various contexts. 

 

And, finally, don’t underestimate website content. More and more of my mediation and collaborative law clients tell me that they feel they know me from my website blogs before ever meeting me.  For a lifelong learner with a yen for writing about life-giving pursuits, this is a powerful incentive to keep up my blogging.

 

 

 

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